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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29327829">Pact of Our Youth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TodayWe_Are_Infinite/pseuds/TodayWe_Are_Infinite'>TodayWe_Are_Infinite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Achilles Come Down, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Comfort/Angst, Depressed Sirius Black, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hogwarts, Holding Hands, James Potter is a Good Friend, Love Confessions, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship, Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Marauders' Era, One Shot, Remus doesn't know what to do, Sad Sirius Black, Song: Achilles Come Down (Gang of Youths), Suicidal Thoughts, Teen Angst, but he figures it out, gang of youths, wolfstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:54:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,403</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29327829</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TodayWe_Are_Infinite/pseuds/TodayWe_Are_Infinite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus has to talk Sirius down.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sirius Black &amp; Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>151</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pact of Our Youth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>CW: Suicidal thoughts/near attempt, brief mention of abuse. Please, please, please don’t read if that’s going to be difficult for you!! xxx </p><p>This story (and the title itself) was entirely inspired by Achilles Come Down, by Gang of Youths. It’s such a beautiful, devastating song, and I couldn’t get the Marauders out of my head while listening to it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>Sirius! </em>”</p><p>It was a scream of desperation, and Remus grabbed hold of James’ arm before he could do anything stupid. </p><p>“Don’t scare him,” he hissed, panic thudding violently in his chest. “It’s too dangerous.”</p><p>“I don’t have my wand,” James said wildly, pulling against Remus’ grasp. “Give me yours.”</p><p>“Dammit, Moony,” Sirius’ voice came, tired and distant. “I told you not to get anyone.”</p><p>“Sirius, I had to,” Remus called, forcing himself to sound calm as he turned his gaze back to where Sirius stood on the parapet of the clock tower, so high above them. “You know that.”</p><p>“What are you doing, Pads?” James yelled, his voice only slightly less frantic than before. “Come down from there. You might get hurt.”</p><p>Sirius’ laugh floated down to them, quiet on the night breeze. Remus’ tightened his grip on James’ arm, needing to feel something solid. </p><p>“I’m going to be sick,” James whispered. Remus didn’t answer. </p><p>“Just go to bed,” Sirius called down. “It’s okay.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Remus answered vehemently. “Shut up, Sirius, and come down here.”</p><p>“Why haven’t you gone up there?” James growled. “Why are you just standing here?”</p><p>“I tried,” Remus said, swallowing thickly. “I was following him, but I lost track. I didn’t know he’d gone up, I thought he came outside. He yelled at me when I got out here, and that’s when I saw -” Remus shook his head against the memory of the panic that had slammed through him. “I was too scared something would happen if I took my eyes off him. So I stayed.” He could hear his own breath, rasping harshly in his ears. “I couldn’t even - it took me half an hour before I even thought of sending my patronus to get you. I’m such an -” he broke off, breathing hard. </p><p>“Okay,” James said, and Remus could hear him shifting back into leader mode. His back straightened, and he took a deep breath. “It’s okay, Remus. You did a good job in telling me. Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to stay here, and you’re going to run up to the tower. Okay? Be careful not to startle him, but let him know that you’re there.”</p><p>“Why me?” Remus asked, head pounding dully. “It should be you. He loves you the best.”</p><p>James laughed, and it was only slightly frantic. </p><p>“He listens to you.”</p><p>“What are you going to do?” Remus asked, eyes fixed on where Sirius stood.</p><p>“I’m going to stay here,” said James, gently extricating himself from Remus’ hand. “If anything goes wrong, there should be someone down here. Just in case.”</p><p>Remus felt the blood drain from his face and he crouched down quickly. James’ hand was steady on his back as he tried to stop his head from spinning. </p><p>“Moony,” he heard Sirius call from above, and it sounded desperate. </p><p>“Sorry,” he said, wiping a hand over his face and standing slowly. “Sorry, I’m okay”</p><p>“You are,” said James with a nod. “You’re alright. You just need to go now. Okay? Calm him down.”</p><p>Remus nodded, running a shaky hand through his hair and swallowing hard. </p><p>James looked at him for a moment, and sighed. He took Remus’ wand gently from his hand, and summoned a slab of chocolate from the kitchens, handing it to him silently. Remus bit into it gratefully, and took a steadying breath when he was done. He immediately felt his focus returning. </p><p>“Better?” asked James, eyes trained on the tower above them. </p><p>“Yeah,” Remus whispered, shame washing over him. </p><p>“Stop spiralling now,” James said, his voice firm. “You’re doing wonderfully. You’re the best one for the job, and I don’t doubt you for a second, so go up there and talk to him. Alright?”</p><p>Remus took a deep breath. </p><p>“You keep my wand,” he said. “You’re the strongest. You can do a cushioning charm.”</p><p>James nodded, pushing at Remus’ shoulder. </p><p>“Go,” he hissed, and Remus went. </p><p>He ran towards the castle and through the doors. His feet were wet and cold from the grass, and he could feel his body shuddering. He was vaguely aware of tears on his cheeks, but he wiped them away angrily as he ran. He could barely see where he was going, and his breath was heaving in his chest, but he kept going, navigating the turns and staircases of the castle with muscle memory more than acute awareness. </p><p>It was both an age and a single blink later that he found himself tearing up the stairs of the clock tower. He paused at the doorway, gasping for breath. He let himself rest for a moment, trying to pull himself together, before slipping through and padding towards the balcony. </p><p>Sirius was a silhouette against the night sky, and Remus had to blink several times before he could see him clearly. He had turned slightly, and he was watching Remus, as if he’d been waiting for him. There was a half-empty bottle of firewhisky on the wall beside him.</p><p>Now that Remus could see him up close, the gravity of what was happening slammed into him again, and he had to hold his breath against a sudden onslaught of nausea. </p><p>“Hey, Sirius,” he said finally, stopping at the archway that led out onto the balcony. He was surprised at how calm he sounded. </p><p>“Remus,” Sirius said, so quietly that it was almost inaudible. “Please don’t come any closer.”</p><p>“Okay,” Remus said, nodding. “I’ll just stay here.” He leaned against the cold stone doorway and folded his arms, hoping Sirius wouldn’t see how badly they were shaking. Sirius was watching him warily, his body swaying slightly against the night sky. He looked so small, so breakable, and Remus wanted nothing more than to grab him and pull him down, hold on to him, bundle him up so that he was so safe and warm that he could never get hurt again. </p><p>“You weren’t supposed to be here,” Sirius said, and Remus could tell he’d been crying. </p><p>“You called my name,” he said, keeping his voice gentle. “When you were leaving the dormitory. Remember?”</p><p>“I didn’t think you’d hear,” said Sirius, wrapping his arms around himself. “I thought you were asleep.”</p><p>“You still called me,” said Remus. “So I think maybe you wanted me to come.”</p><p>Sirius shook his head. </p><p>“No, I just -” he shrugged. “I just wanted to say your name.”</p><p>Remus could feel tears struggling to emerge, and he fought them away. </p><p>“I’m glad you did,” he said. </p><p>“I didn’t mean for you to follow me,” Sirius said, his voice hoarse. He sounded so weary. </p><p>Remus swallowed, summoning a bravery he didn’t even think he possessed. </p><p>“I’ll always follow you, Sirius,” he said. “You don’t have to be alone.”</p><p>Sirius blinked at him for a long moment. Remus could hear his heart skittering from where he stood, and he wondered wildly whether Sirius could hear his, with those dog-like senses of his. </p><p>“I’m always alone,” Sirius whispered, and Remus took a step forward without thinking. </p><p>“You’re not,” he said fiercely. “You’ve got <em> us </em>.”</p><p>Sirius laughed. </p><p>“For another year or so. And then school is over, and what? I’ve got nothing. No home, no family, no prospect, no name -”</p><p>His voice broke, and he turned away, inching closer to the edge. </p><p>Remus stepped closer, barely breathing. </p><p>“Sirius,” he said carefully. “You will always have us. I swear that to you. James, and Peter, and Mr. and Mrs. Potter, and - and me. We all love you. We’re your family.”</p><p>Sirius didn’t answer, and Remus took another step towards him. He was halfway between the parapet and the doorway now. He wondered how quickly he could get to him if the other boy moved to jump. </p><p>“She struck my name off the wall,” said Sirius suddenly, voice low. </p><p>Remus paused, scrambling to follow the new line of thought. </p><p>“I’m no longer a Black,” he continued, staring straight out. “I have nothing. I am nothing.”</p><p>Remus grimaced. He’d known things were getting worse at home, but he’d never thought Sirius’ mother would actually disown him. </p><p>“Do you know why I spent Christmas hols with the Potters?” Sirius asked suddenly, whirling to look at Remus. The heel of his left foot was touching nothing now, inching over the edge of the stone wall. Remus fought to stay still. </p><p>“I heard you had a fight with your parents,” he said slowly, trying to recall what James had told him. The other boy had been cagey, and Remus had known it was worse than he tried to make it seem, but he hadn’t wanted to pry. </p><p>“A fight,” Sirius said with a snort. “They tried to kill me.”</p><p>Remus’ mouth went dry. </p><p>“They took turns crucio’ing me until I passed out,” the other boy continued, his voice nauseatingly matter of fact. “And when I woke up they started again.”</p><p>“No,” Remus whispered. </p><p>“Oh yes,” Sirius said, his laugh more bark than anything else. “Reg distracted them long enough for me to Floo to the Potters', otherwise you wouldn’t have the privilege of watching me stand up here like a fucking pathetic moron tonight.”</p><p>“You’re not a pathetic moron,” Remus said quickly, fighting back the nausea at the thought of what the Blacks had done to their son. “Sirius, you’re brilliant.”</p><p>“A brilliant fuck up,” Sirius bit back. “A brilliant waste of space.”</p><p>“That’s bullshit,” said Remus. “I can guess where you’ve got that from, but they’re wrong on all counts. Ask anyone here.”</p><p>Remus took a step closer. Sirius watched him silently, so he took another. He was nearly within arms reach of the parapet now. </p><p>“Those things you’re thinking? The things you’re telling yourself, and hearing about yourself, and replaying over and over in your head?” Remus took another step, laying his hand upon the cold stone wall. Sirius flinched above him, and he froze. “Those things aren’t worth your time,” he continued slowly, meeting Sirius’ gaze. “Don’t give it to them. Don’t let them steal value they don’t deserve.”</p><p>Sirius was watching him intently. </p><p>“Don’t give them the satisfaction of thinking they deserve to beat you,” he added, feeling completely out of his depth. It should be James up there, talking Sirius down. Not him. He wasn’t prepared for this, he wasn’t adequate. </p><p>“I’m so tired of being wrong,” Sirius said after a long moment, his voice pitched lower than before. </p><p>“You’re not wrong,” Remus said, shaking his head. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”</p><p>“I’m everything my father frowns upon and my mother hates,” Sirius said with a weary shrug. </p><p>“You’re everything I admire,” Remus countered. “You’re everything I wish I could be.”</p><p>“Oh, Moony,” Sirius said, passing a hand over his face. “I’m afraid you’ve got that completely in reverse.”</p><p>Remus was so close now that he had to look almost directly up to see Sirius’ face. He was so beautiful, and Remus was suddenly struck with the thought that he should have told him that before. What if he never got the chance now?</p><p>“So that’s it?” he asked, suddenly angry. “You’re just giving up? You’re just going to end it all, topple into sweet oblivion, and leave the rest of us to pick up whatever pieces are left?”</p><p>Sirius blinked, momentarily surprised. </p><p>“It’s not about you, Remus,” he said, as though the thought that the night would affect someone else adversely had never crossed his mind. “It’s about me being tired, and useless, and too pathetic to make anything better in any other way but this. Everyone can relax once I’m gone. No more mess to deal with.”</p><p>Remus looked at him for a long moment and just breathed. Everything was shaking. He couldn’t let himself imagine this going another step beyond the present moment, else it would all be too much. </p><p>Sirius was in pain. That was the present crisis to deal with. Sirius felt alone, and Remus was currently the only one who was there to show him otherwise.</p><p>Remus licked his lips, trying to think clearly. They were the Marauders. They were the best friends he had ever had, ever even dreamed of having in his very darkest moments. They were brothers.</p><p>“Okay,” he said, taking another shaky breath and making a sudden decision. “Okay, then I’m coming too.”</p><p>“Fuck off,” Sirius said angrily. </p><p>“No.”</p><p>Remus took another breath, and then hauled himself up onto the parapet beside Sirius. </p><p>“<em> Remus </em> !” he heard James shout from below. “What the <em> hell </em> are you doing?”</p><p>“Get down,” snarled Sirius. </p><p>Remus’ heart was pounding so hard, he thought it might knock him right off the edge. He hoped desperately that Sirius wouldn’t call his bluff.</p><p>“We made a pact, Sirius,” Remus said, ignoring the way his voice was shaking. “Marauders for life. Together through it all. So if you jump, I jump.”</p><p>Sirius’ face was drained of blood, and he stared at Remus with stricken eyes. </p><p>“You can’t,” he whispered, shaking his head. </p><p>“I don’t want to live in a world where Sirius Black doesn’t exist,” said Remus. They were so close he could see the tears filling Sirius’ eyes. Remus hoped to Merlin that James was good at cushioning charms.  “I promised you that I was with you no matter what. This is no matter what.”</p><p>“You can’t die,” rasped Sirius. “After everything you’ve been through? You’re supposed to live.”</p><p>“Why?” Remus asked. “If you’re nothing, then I’m even worse. I’m a monster.”</p><p>“Don’t say that about yourself,” Sirius said, and his hand made an odd little abortive gesture, as though about to reach out for him. </p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>Sirius’ hands clenched into fists at his sides. </p><p>“Because you’re Moony! You’re one of my favourite people in the world. You don’t deserve that.”</p><p>Remus tried not to let the burst of hope he felt at those words show in his face. </p><p>“Sirius,” he said gently. “If you truly believe that about me, a half-blood werewolf with little to no future, then why do you think I would feel any differently about you? You are more than your name. You are more than your family.”</p><p>Sirius let out a sob and closed his eyes. Remus leaned towards him just slightly, and dared to finally - <em> finally </em> - put a hand on his arm. </p><p>“You are so much better than all that, because you are Sirius fucking Black, and you’re a marvel.”</p><p>Sirius leaned into Remus’ touch. A few tears had escaped, and were tracking their way slowly down his cheek. Remus wondered whether he could just body check him down from the wall. </p><p>“You light up every room you enter,” he said quietly, running his hand up to Sirius’ shoulder and back in what he hoped was a comforting manner. “You’ve got a wicked sense of humour. You’re brilliant in class, when you put your mind to it, and you’re even better at pranks.”</p><p>Sirius didn’t respond, but he seemed to be listening. Remus ran his hand up and down Sirius’ arm again. </p><p>“You stand up for what you believe in. I’ve always admired that. I’ve always been jealous of your confidence.”</p><p>Sirius shook his head, but he leaned towards Remus. Remus dared to put a hand on Sirius’ other shoulder, tilting them both towards the floor of the clock tower balcony. </p><p>“Everyone here adores you.”</p><p>Remus swallowed, tugging Sirius closer towards him. If he could just get him a little closer, he might be able to pull him down. He just didn’t want to startle him. </p><p>“You know you’ve got everyone’s eyes on you when you walk into a room, because you know just how to walk to ensure it.”</p><p>The corner of Sirius’ mouth twitched minutely at that, so Remus grasped at the train of thought. </p><p>“You know everyone is attracted to you wherever you go, and you love it.”</p><p>Sirius opened his eyes. </p><p>“You’re full of shit,” he whispered, and Remus fought against the panicked sob that was haunting his chest. </p><p>“I’m not,” he said firmly. “You are so beautiful, and so loved, Sirius. You are so important. Don’t throw that all away.” He paused. “Please don’t make me watch you do that.”</p><p>Sirius looked as though he’d been struck. He jerked out of Remus’ grasp, his face white, eyes roving over Remus’ face. </p><p>“Please, Padfoot,” Remus continued, pressing his advantage. He was probably being selfish, but frankly, if it meant that Sirius would get down off the wall, he couldn’t give a shit. “Please don’t leave me like this.”</p><p>“Moony,” Sirius whispered, eyes wide and stricken. </p><p>Remus reached slowly for his hand. </p><p>“Please stay with me,” he whispered back. </p><p>Sirius made a noise in his throat that was more gasp than sob, and squeezed Remus’ hand. </p><p>“I don’t want to die,” he said, so softly Remus didn’t think he’d have heard it without his wolf-enhanced senses. “I never did. I didn’t mean…”</p><p>“You don’t have to,” Remus said, gripping Sirius’ hand tightly. </p><p>“I’m just…” Sirius shook his head. </p><p>“I know,” said Remus, aching to take him in his arms. “I know, Sirius.”</p><p>Sirius fell silent, so Remus followed suit. The Forbidden Forest was rustling in the distance, and somewhere below them there was a faint splashing sound from the Great Lake. </p><p>“I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do now,” Sirius said suddenly, and Remus jumped a little. “I’m all empty inside.”</p><p>Remus looked at him helplessly. </p><p>“I don’t know how to be a person anymore. I’ve used it all up. I can’t be the Sirius Black that everyone thinks I am, there’s none of him left.”</p><p>Sirius looked at Remus, his eyes desperate.</p><p>“Maybe he just needs a rest,” Remus said quietly. “Maybe you can be whoever you damn well want to be, and fuck the rest of it.”</p><p>Sirius blinked slowly at Remus, his face strangely blank.</p><p>“I know they’re horrible,” he said after a moment, and Remus knew immediately where his brain had gone. “And I know I’m supposed to hate them. But…” Sirius trailed off, eyes trained on the ground. </p><p>“They’re still your parents,” said Remus quietly. “They’re still the people who were supposed to love and protect you, no matter what. And it still hurts.”</p><p>Sirius’ face crumpled, and Remus grabbed him before the rest of his body could follow suit. The shorter boy collapsed against him, burying his face in Remus’ shoulder. Remus tugged him down gently, heart in his throat, until they were sitting on the parapet, backs to the world beyond them. They weren’t quite safe yet, but Remus let himself take a deep, reassuring breath. Sirius was gasping into his neck, hands fisted into Remus’ jumper. </p><p>Remus put an arm around his back and held on tightly as Sirius began to cry. </p><p>“It’s okay,” he murmured into Sirius’ hair. “You’re safe, you’re okay, I’m here.”</p><p>It felt like an age before Sirius quieted, but the clock face above them said it had only been seven minutes. Remus thought of James, waiting, agonised and terrified down below. </p><p>“Remus,” Sirius said, his voice a rasped whisper, muffled by Remus’ chest. </p><p>“Yeah, Pads. I’m here,” he said, passing a hand over Sirius’ head. “I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>“Ever?” Sirius’ voice broke, and Remus felt his heart twist with the sound. </p><p>“Ever,” he said firmly, holding him more tightly. “I swear it. You’re not alone, Sirius.”</p><p>Sirius shuddered in his arms, and Remus found himself wishing for more of this. Wishing for the feel of Sirius in his arms every day, not in crisis mode, but just because he wanted to be there. It wasn’t the first time he had longed for that - not by a long shot - but it was possibly the most inappropriate. Remus shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Sirius wasn’t his wish to make. </p><p>“You’re so good, Moony,” Sirius whispered, and Remus frowned down at the top of his head, leaning forward a little. </p><p>“Shh, Pads, you don’t have to do this.” Remus stroked his hand over Sirius’ head again. </p><p>“I don’t deserve you,” Sirius said, his voice still quiet against Remus’ chest. </p><p>“Padfoot, shut up,” Remus said gently. “You deserve so much.”</p><p>Sirius fell silent again, and Remus could feel him shivering. </p><p>“Don’t throw it all away, cariad,” he said quietly, falling back upon his mother’s favourite Welsh endearment. “You have so much to live for.”</p><p>Sirius reached up and grabbed for Remus’ hand. Remus let him, holding on tight. Sirius' fingers were ice cold. </p><p>“Do you know what I want?” he asked, sniffing congestedly. </p><p>“What?” asked Remus, squeezing his hand. “Anything. Name it.”</p><p>Sirius sniffed again and looked up at Remus. His eyes were bright, and the tip of his nose was red. Remus wanted desperately to lean down and kiss it. </p><p>“Hot chocolate,” Sirius said, his voice so small that Remus felt his heart breaking just a little bit, images of Sirius as a little boy, wanting nothing more than to be taken care of, popping up unbidden in his mind. </p><p>“I think we can manage that,” Remus said, smiling at him. </p><p>“With marshmallows,” Sirius added, and his eyebrows pinched together quizzically. </p><p>It was the eyebrows that did it. Before he could stop himself, before he could even register what he was doing, Remus leaned down and kissed Sirius on the forehead. </p><p>Sirius breathed out, long and slow, and blinked up at Remus. Remus felt his heart stop for an instant.</p><p>“Sirius Black, I will get you as much hot chocolate with marshmallows as you could possibly want, for the rest of your life,” he said seriously. </p><p>Sirius smiled. It was small, barely more than a ghost of humour, but it was there.</p><p>They were silent for a moment, and then Sirius sat up, pulling away and wiping his eyes with the heels of his hands. . </p><p>“I’m so sorry,” he said quietly. </p><p>Remus shook his head. </p><p>“Don’t, Sirius,” he said, knowing his friend’s tendency to torment himself over every little perceived imperfection. “Don’t agonise about it. You have nothing to apologise for. Let’s just get down from this wall, get some hot chocolate, and take it from there. Yeah?”</p><p>Sirius let out a long breath, and nodded. Remus jumped down, and held out a hand. Sirius eyed it for a moment, but accepted the help. </p><p>There was a faint whoop from below, and Remus knew that James would soon be racing towards the tower, racing towards Sirius. </p><p>“I don’t want everyone to hate me now,” Sirius said, eyeing the doorway reluctantly. </p><p>“No one hates you,” Remus said firmly. “It’s just me and James. No one else needs to know.”</p><p>“I don’t want <em> you </em> to hate me,” Sirius said, turning towards him. He was still grasping Remus’ hand. </p><p>“I could never,” Remus said simply, shaking his head. He started towards the doorway, but Sirius’ hand tugged him back. His eyes were wide, and his chest was moving quickly. “What’s wrong?” Remus asked, letting Sirius pull him closer. </p><p>“Can we just -” Sirius began, then stopped abruptly, shaking his head. </p><p>Remus studied his friend’s face. He was pale, and Remus could feel his hand shaking. </p><p>“Let’s lie down,” he said suddenly, gesturing towards the stone floor below. </p><p>“What?” asked Sirius, eyes snapping to his. </p><p>“Come on,” Remus said, laying down and gently pulling on Sirius’ hand. Sirius was watching him suspiciously, but after a moment he acquiesced. The stone was cold beneath Remus’ back, but Sirius was warm beside him. The stars above them were bright and clear. Remus let himself breathe, slow and steady, and eventually he heard Sirius’ breathing fall into sync.  </p><p>“I can see your star,” he whispered, and he could see Sirius’ head turn towards him out of the corner of his eye. He kept his gaze fixed on the sky. “It’s so bright.”</p><p>Sirius was still watching him. </p><p>“It’s the first thing I look for when I turn,” Remus continued, knowing he was rambling, but not sure what else to do. Everything felt so delicate and out of control. “Before you three could join me, it made me feel safer. Like someone was watching out for me. I could barely see out of the little window in the Shack, but somehow the wolf always knew to look. He - I always knew where you were.” He paused, feeling ridiculous and vulnerable all at once. He supposed Sirius was feeling the same, so he pushed forward. “You make me feel safe.”</p><p>He let out a long breath before turning to look at Sirius. </p><p>Sirius was staring at him, and Remus wanted to look away. He felt like he’d said too much. But he held his gaze, and after a long moment, Sirius’ lips quirked up. </p><p>“You make me feel safe, too,” he whispered. </p><p>Remus nodded. </p><p>“Good,” he whispered. </p><p>“Good,” Sirius echoed. They continued to stare until they could hear footsteps pounding towards them. </p><p>“<em> Sirius </em>?” </p><p>James was out of breath as he rounded the corner and nearly tripped over them where they lay. </p><p>“Holy shit,” he said, gasping for air. He put a hand on his chest and leaned against the wall for a split second, before Remus took pity on him and sat up on his elbows. “Holy shit,” James repeated. “You fuckers scared me. What are you doing down there?”</p><p>“Looking at the stars,” said Remus, and Sirius in the same breath said, “Breathing.”</p><p>James looked at them both, and then he was on the ground with them, crawling beside Sirius. They had to wiggle closer to make space, as the balcony wasn’t very wide, but it felt cosy. </p><p>“Padfoot,” James murmured after they were all settled again. </p><p>Remus felt Sirius’ fingers twitch where their hands were still connected.</p><p>“Prongs,” he answered quietly. </p><p>“I love you,” James said steadily, and Remus heard Sirius’ breath catch in his chest.  </p><p>“I love you too,” he said, the words choked.</p><p>“We can do this,” James said. Sirius breathed out sharply through his nose.</p><p>“You think?” he asked. Remus turned to look at them and met James’ eyes over Sirius, who was staring upwards. James gave him a sad sort of half-smile, which Remus returned in kind. </p><p>“I absolutely know. We’re the Marauders. We can get through anything.”</p><p>“Together,” Remus added softly, and James nodded eagerly. </p><p>“Exactly. Together.”</p><p>Sirius began to blink very quickly, and Remus and James turned their heads back to the sky, as though on silent cue. </p><p>“Fuck my family,” Sirius said, his voice breaking. Remus squeezed his hand tightly as he cleared his throat. “<em> You’re </em> my family. Both of you, and Petey.”</p><p>“Of course we are,” James said immediately. “And you’ve always got a home at mine, too. I’m surprised my mum hasn’t signed adoption papers already to be honest, they’re that taken with you.”</p><p>Sirius made a little choking sound that Remus thought might be the start of a laugh. </p><p>“So you’ve got a brother in me, Petey can be your clueless kid, and Moony here is our dotty old grandmother. The perfect family,” James said happily. Remus wondered whether the tension beneath it was obvious, or if he just knew James too well.</p><p>“Oi,” he said mildly. “I prefer the term ‘granny,’ ta very much.”</p><p>James laughed, and Sirius squeezed his hand. </p><p>“So you see? We need you to hold us together.”</p><p>James fell silent, as if waiting for Sirius to respond. When he didn’t, James sat up a little, turning his head to look right at him. Remus watched him out of the corner of his eye. </p><p>“We need you, Sirius,” James said, all joviality gone from his voice. “We need you because we love you. It’s as simple as that.”</p><p>Sirius took a long shuddering breath.</p><p>“And if you need us too, that’s what we’re here for,” Remus added softly, turning back towards him. “If you just need something to lean on for a bit, we’re all right here, ready and willing to hold you up.”</p><p>James nodded.</p><p>Sirius’ throat was working, and Remus watched him as he squeezed his eyes shut. He and James stayed silent, until Sirius opened his eyes again, distinctly less dry than they had been.</p><p>“I just want to rest,” he said finally. “I just want to be left in peace for five minutes without the world falling down around me. I want to go to bed, and close my curtains, and stay there until everything is quiet.”</p><p>James and Remus glanced at each other again, before Remus nodded.</p><p>“Then that’s what we’ll do.”</p><p>James smiled faintly.</p><p>“Just one condition,” Remus added, and Sirius frowned. “You have to let us in too.”</p><p>Sirius turned to look at him. </p><p>“You have to let us stay inside the curtains with you. You have to let us bring you food, and you have to let us nag you about finishing it. You have to tell us when you want to drink firewhisky, or climb something high, or scream someone’s ear off. You have to tell us before it gets so bad that you feel like you’re completely alone again.”</p><p>Sirius’ eyes were steady on his as he spoke. </p><p>“You have to let us take care of you sometimes,” Remus finished with a little shrug, and immediately held his breath. It was no secret that Sirius Black did not stand to be patronised, and Remus prayed that this would not be one of those times. James nodded at him.</p><p>Sirius continued to study him for a long moment after he finished speaking. Remus was just about to start talking again, say anything to fill the silence, when Sirius nodded.</p><p>“Okay,” he said quietly. “Okay.”</p><p>Remus saw James blink, his eyes bright, before leaning down and burying his face in Sirius’ chest. </p><p>“You big, stinking, black dog,” James said into Sirius’ shirt. “You lovely, stupid boy.” </p><p>His words were muffled, but the emotion was taut, and Sirius put a tentative hand on his head.</p><p>“Don’t you know we would be lost without you, you godawful miracle?” </p><p>Sirius patted his head gently as he spoke, looking at Remus helplessly. </p><p>“I love you so much, you prick.”</p><p>Sirius started to laugh.</p><p>“You’re so stupid and handsome and stupid and wonderful and stupid,” James said, shaking his head against Sirius’ chest. </p><p>Sirius laughed harder, the movement jostling James, who seemed to take it as a cue to keep going. </p><p>“You’re my best friend in the world, you horrible wanker,” he growled, and Remus couldn’t help but join Sirius in his laughter. </p><p>“If I wasn’t already engaged to Lily, I’d marry you and your stupid, ugly mug,” James said.</p><p>“I didn’t know you’d finally popped the question,” said Sirius, and he was still laughing quietly. Remus thought his chest might burst.</p><p>“Oh plenty of times,” James said, face still buried against Sirius. “She has yet to accept, but she’ll come around.”</p><p>“You’re ridiculous,” murmured Sirius, patting his head again. </p><p>“Am I? I’m not the one holding hands with Grandmother Moony,” James said, looking up suddenly, his eyes thoughtful. Remus felt his heart stutter in his chest, and Sirius’ hand immediately went slack.</p><p>James rolled his eyes.</p><p>“You’re both too self-sacrificing for your own good,” he said, sitting back and looking down at them. “And tonight of all nights, you should let go of all that stupid pride and fear you’re carrying around, and let yourselves be happy.”</p><p>Remus couldn’t breathe. Had he really been this obvious? He’d barely admitted it to himself, how was it that James knew? Even worse - did <em> Sirius </em> know? For the first time in his life, Remus wished that it was a full moon, so he could turn and escape it all. </p><p>“That’s all I’m saying on the matter,” James continued with a shrug. “Just that, and - and I hope you know how much I love you <em> both, </em> no matter what.”</p><p>Remus didn’t move. He could feel Sirius and James both watching him, but he couldn’t drag his eyes away from the point where the tower roof met the sky. He knew Sirius could hear his heartbeat from here, thundering angrily in his chest. He felt ridiculous, and stupid, and dirty. </p><p>Sirius Black was magnificent. Who was he, Remus Lupin, a nobody, a half-blood, a <em> werewolf </em>, to harbour any kind of secret hope for mutual affection?</p><p>“Sorry,” he finally managed to get out. He felt as though his head might explode, and he cursed James for exposing him like that.</p><p>“Remus,” Sirius whispered, and there was something strange in his voice. His hand tightened again, and Remus took a deep breath. “Remus, really?” Sirius asked. </p><p>“Really what,” Remus asked flatly, still unable to turn his head. </p><p>“Merlin, Moony,” said Sirius. “How long?”</p><p>Remus swallowed and shook his head. </p><p>“I don’t know,” he said, but his voice was embarrassingly breathy. He could feel his hands shaking. He wanted to run away. </p><p>There was a long silence. Remus closed his eyes. Sirius was kind - for the most part. Surely he would let him down gently. Perhaps they could go about with some level of normalcy after this. Remus could only hope. </p><p>“For me, it was Third Year. When you jelly-legs jinxed that man in Hogsmeade who called me a blood traitor, and then asked if I wanted anything from Honeydukes.”</p><p>Sirius’ voice was quiet, but his hand was still gripping Remus’. Remus frowned, and managed to turn his head, just a bit, to cut his eyes at his friends. They were both still watching him. </p><p>“What?” he croaked, confused. </p><p>“Well that’s when I realised that not only were you the best wizard in our year, you were also the kindest. And the damn sexiest, too.”</p><p>Remus’ head lifted a little, involuntarily, and his eyes flew to Sirius. </p><p>“<em> What </em>?” he said again. Sirius smiled at him, just a little, and shrugged. </p><p>“Guess I should have told you earlier. I just didn’t think I had much of a chance,” he said, and then he sat up, and Remus had no choice but to follow, or lay there while the two of them stared down at him. </p><p>“Much of a chance?” Remus repeated faintly. “Sirius - <em> what </em>?”</p><p>“I think you broke him,” James said, leaning his chin on Sirius’ shoulder and grinning at Remus. “Poor Moony.”</p><p>Sirius stroked one thumb across Remus’ palm, sending a trail of sparks straight up his arm and through his core, and Remus sucked in a breath. </p><p>“I don’t understand,” he said, wishing his voice would stop breaking. </p><p>“I think what he’s trying to say,” said James cheerfully, “is that if I hadn’t just proposed, Sirius would love to make you his lawfully wedded husband.”</p><p>Sirius elbowed James in the stomach, but he was smiling. </p><p>“I don’t know I’d go that far just yet,” he said, meeting Remus’ eyes again, “but I will say that I’d much rather marry you than this shithead.”</p><p>Remus shook his head, and he could feel his mouth opening and closing incredulously. </p><p>“Go on, Moony,” James whispered, hooking his chin back over Sirius’ shoulder. “Be happy for once.”</p><p>“But,” said Remus, trying to wrap his mind around this newly unfolding development. “But I’m - and it’s - you’re - my scars.” He stopped talking, pressing his lips closed before he said something truly ridiculous. </p><p>“Your scars are hot,” Sirius said, pressing his thumb into Remus’ palm. </p><p>“They are,” James said, nodding encouragingly. “Even Lily thinks so.”</p><p>Remus stared at them. </p><p>“You’re both full of shit,” he said finally. </p><p>“Usually,” James agreed readily. “But not about this. Not about our Moony.”</p><p>“Never about our Moony,” Sirius added, his voice low. </p><p>Remus felt as though he was back in First Year, suddenly realising that his dorm mates had become his friends, and, even more astonishingly, considered him to be their friend too. </p><p>“Merlin,” he breathed out, and let his hand tighten around Sirius’. </p><p>“Merlin yes I’ll be your husband, Sirius?” James asked, pushing his glasses up on his nose. </p><p>Remus felt his face turn red, and he wished his wand wasn’t still so firmly in James’ grasp, else he’d hex his hair Slytherin green. </p><p>“I really wish he wasn’t here right now,” Sirius said conversationally to Remus, as though his own neck wasn’t turning blotchy, the way it always did when he was embarrassed. </p><p>“Oh stop,” James said, pressing a kiss to Sirius’ cheek. He then reached over and grabbed Remus’ other hand. “You know I’m the most important part of this relationship.”</p><p>Sirius snorted, and Remus felt himself start to smile. </p><p>“Peter’s going to be so jealous he wasn’t up here,” James added, then fell silent, his eyes widening. </p><p>Sirius frowned, and James straightened. </p><p>“No, that’s not what I meant,” he said quickly. “Sirius, I didn’t mean that. This isn’t just a romp, I know that. I was just trying to lighten the mood. I never -” he stopped talking, looking over at Remus helplessly.</p><p>Remus winced. </p><p>“It’s fine, Prongsy,” Sirius said quietly. “I know what you meant.”</p><p>“I would never make light of it, Pads,” James said anxiously. </p><p>“I know you wouldn’t,” said Sirius, shaking his head. “But I don’t want you to be careful with me now.”</p><p>“There’s nothing wrong with being careful,” Remus said, and Sirius looked back at him with a smile. </p><p>“Of course you would say that,” he said fondly, and Remus felt his cheeks get hotter. “Stop panicking, Potter,” he added, nudging James with his elbow. </p><p>They all fell silent, and then James groaned and put his face in his hands. </p><p>“Go on and kiss him then, Remus,” he mumbled through his fingers. “Distract him from the massive bumbling idiot I’ve just made of myself.”</p><p>If Remus had thought his face felt hot before, this was an entirely new experience. </p><p>“James,” he hissed, avoiding Sirius’ eye. “Shut up.”</p><p>Sirius laughed, but when Remus looked up at him, his eyes were calm. </p><p>“Don’t panic, Moony,” he said, before leaning forward, agonisingly slowly. Remus thought his heart might stop, but then Sirius’ lips brushed his cheek, and his fingers stroked gently over his wrist, and it was so painfully sweet that Remus wanted nothing more than to bury himself in Sirius’ chest, like James had. </p><p>Instead he settled for leaning forward and resting his forehead against Sirius’ shoulder. He knew he was shamelessly hiding, but when he felt Sirius press another kiss onto the top of his head, he decided to stay there a while longer. A hand came up and stroked tentatively over his back, and Remus breathed in deeply. He could smell Sirius’ familiar scent, stronger than ever, and he squeezed helplessly at his hand. </p><p>“Merlin you two are cute,” James whispered, and Remus laughed into Sirius’ shoulder. </p><p>“I don’t know how Evans stands him,” he muttered, making Sirius laugh in his ear. </p><p>“She barely tolerates him,” Sirius murmured back.</p><p>“I love you both so much,” James said beside them, and Remus reluctantly sat back up.</p><p>“Love you too, Pots,” he said, rolling his eyes. “And you,” he said, looking back at Sirius, before freezing. </p><p>He’d said it once or twice before, to all of them. Being friends with James meant becoming quickly accustomed to affection, whether you were ready for it or not. James - and even Peter, to a somewhat lesser degree - was so used to showing and being shown love, that he didn’t understand why Sirius and Remus weren’t always waiting to receive his with open arms. In First Year he had imposed a mandatory “niceties night” once a week, wherein they all had to tell each other something they had admired about them that week, and in Second Year, he never let them go to bed without calling out how much he loved them all. It had made Remus, and Sirius even more so, dreadfully uncomfortable at first, but they had grown used to it. It felt second nature now to hear James calling out a “love you, Moony” as he walked away. The older Gryffindor students had teased them at first, but before long all of Hogwarts knew what to expect; it was just James being James. He had a lot of love to give.</p><p>Now, though. Now Sirius knew that Remus had feelings for him. A casual “love you” was suddenly laden with meaning that Remus didn’t think he was ready to fling out yet. He stared at Sirius, panic-stricken, until James finally fell over with laughter. </p><p>“Remus, your face,” James laughed. “Calm down.”</p><p>Sirius was smiling at him too, and Remus managed to breathe out a laugh, looking quickly away. </p><p>James, ever the social leader, began telling them a meaningless story from Potions Class that morning. Remus tuned him out, letting him fill the silence while he pulled himself together. When he looked back at them, Sirius was still watching him.</p><p>“And you,” Sirius said quietly, eyes crinkling with a smile. </p><p>Remus’ face burned, but he forced himself to return the smile. </p><p>James had stopped talking, perhaps sensing that his chatter was no longer required, and Remus shook his head. </p><p>“Am I the most awkward person you’ve ever met?” he asked ruefully. </p><p>“Peter’s definitely worse,” said Sirius. “You’re only a close second.”</p><p>“You’re learning,” said James, ruffling his hair fondly until Remus shook him off. </p><p>“Didn’t you want hot chocolate?” he asked Sirius, desperate to steer the conversation away from himself. James perked up at that, turning eagerly to Sirius. </p><p>“You want a hot choccy?” he asked. Sirius shrugged sheepishly. </p><p>“It sounded kind of nice.”</p><p>“It sounds <em> perfect </em>,” said James, standing up. “We’re going to get you the best hot chocolate in the world.”</p><p>James held his hands out, and Remus and Sirius let him help them up. He looked at them both for a moment once they were all standing, before throwing his arms around their shoulders, and pulling them into a hug. </p><p>“You’re my family too,” he said, holding them both tight. </p><p>They made their way down towards the kitchens in a tight knot, James unwilling to unwrap his arms from their necks. Being that he was the shortest of the three, it made it somewhat slow going as they walked down in a strange, half-bent shuffle. Remus was expecting to be caught around every corner, but there was no one in sight. He briefly wondered whether the castle itself wasn’t keeping them safely tucked away from any eyes. </p><p>They let James take over once they reached the kitchens, and stood silently side by side as he bustled around the room. </p><p>Remus glanced at Sirius, unwilling to let him out of his sight. Sirius was watching James, a small smirk playing at his lips. He looked exhausted. Remus took a deep breath and slipped his hand into Sirius’. </p><p>Sirius looked over at him in surprise. Remus met his eyes and shrugged. </p><p>“Yeah?” Sirius asked, and Remus nodded. </p><p>“Definitely.”</p><p>Sirius’ smile was so bright, Remus had to look away.</p><p>It was only later, when they were all falling asleep in a big pile on James’ bed, a sleepy and confused but happy to be included Peter already snoring at his feet, that Remus let himself feel it all. He turned to look at Sirius, who was curled up on the pillow beside him. Sirius’ eyes blinked open, as if he could feel Remus’ gaze, and he smiled sleepily. </p><p>“Hi,” he whispered, his eyes half-closed. </p><p>“Hey,” whispered Remus, letting himself acknowledge how much he wanted to kiss him. </p><p>“Hello,” whispered James from Sirius’ other side. Remus rolled his eyes, and Sirius’ smile widened. </p><p>“James, don’t take this the wrong way,” Remus whispered, inching closer to Sirius, “but kindly sod off.”</p><p>“I love our love,” James replied, before turning over and covering his head with his pillow.</p><p>Sirius laughed softly, his breath puffing against Remus’ cheek. Remus smiled back, and tentatively put a hand on Sirius’ chest. Sirius’ eyes grew wide. </p><p>“I’m so beyond glad you’re here,” Remus whispered, tapping a finger gently against Sirius’ chest. Sirius’ eyebrows pinched together a little, and Remus ran his hand over Sirius’ chest and up to his cheek. Sirius closed his eyes. Remus was very conscious of James and Peter only inches away, so he just stroked his thumb silently over one of Sirius’ eyelids, hoping everything he wanted to say would be transmitted through the touch. </p><p>Sirius’ lip trembled, and Remus stroked again, leaning forward to plant a whisper of a kiss on his forehead. </p><p>“Our Padfoot,” he murmured against his skin. Sirius’ eyes tightened, before he reached for Remus’ hand. “You’re so brave.”</p><p>Sirius shook his head, letting his breath out slowly. </p><p>“You are,” Remus whispered, laying his head on Sirius’ shoulder. “The bravest one of us.”</p><p>“James won’t like that,” Sirius whispered back, his voice only a little shaky. </p><p>“James can suck it,” Remus replied, squeezing Sirius’ hand. </p><p>“Yeah, James can suck it,” Peter murmured suddenly from the foot of the bed. Sirius choked back a startled laugh. </p><p>“Shut up, Wormtail,” James said, and Remus felt a thump go through the mattress, followed by an irritated grunt from Peter. </p><p>Peter sat up, blinking sleepily, and grabbed his pillow, glaring in James’ direction. Remus groaned. </p><p>“No,” he said sternly, “this is not turning into another wrestling match.”</p><p>“But Moony,” Peter said, pouting at him, “James is so mean to me.”</p><p>“Poor baby,” James said with a laugh, aiming a kick in Peter’s direction. </p><p>“James,” Remus said, reaching over Sirius to smack James’ shoulder. “Stop riling him up.”</p><p>“Yeah, James,” said Peter with a grin. “Stop riling me up.”</p><p>“Settle down,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. He glanced at Sirius, whose eyes were open again. His face was calm now, and Remus was glad to see that his eyes were dry. </p><p>“Granny’s trying to sleep,” James said, and Peter’s eyes shot to Remus. </p><p>“Oooh who’s Granny? Is Moony Granny now?”</p><p>Remus sighed, shaking his head against Sirius’ shoulder. He could feel a rumble of laughter go through Sirius, and he smiled. </p><p>“Moony is the best Granny we all could ask for,” James said fondly, sitting up and beaming down at Remus. “Although I have to say, Granny’s never given me cuddles like that.”</p><p>Remus buried his face into Sirius’ shoulder for the second time that night. Peter let out a gasp. </p><p>“Wait,” he said loudly. “<em> Wait </em>.”</p><p>Sirius laughed again, and Remus slapped at him blindly. </p><p>“Don’t encourage them,” he said crossly, words muffled. </p><p>“Is that for <em> real </em>?” Peter asked, his voice reaching a new octave in his excitement. </p><p>“Looks pretty real from where I’m sitting,” James said gleefully. </p><p>“Feels pretty real if I’m being honest,” Sirius added, and James and Peter let out a loud whoop.</p><p>“Oh my <em> god </em>,” Remus said, raising his head to glare at Sirius. “Et tu, Brute?”</p><p>“Granny’s blushing,” James cooed, reaching over to pat Remus’ cheek, and Peter gave a delighted cackle. </p><p>“Will you all shut up,” Remus said, diving under the blanket to escape their gazes. “Sirius needs to rest.”</p><p>There was a long moment of silence, broken by a chorus of whispers that Remus couldn’t make out from beneath the covers. Then Sirius’ face appeared under the edge of the blanket beside him.</p><p>“Moony,” he whispered. “I thought I should warn you that they want to do a dogpile.”</p><p>Remus frowned. </p><p>“Don’t you dare. I’m no dog.”</p><p>“Wolfpile!” Peter crowed triumphantly from above, diving onto Remus’ legs. Remus shouted in surprise, and Sirius let out a laugh that could only be described as a giggle. It sent a spike of warmth straight to Remus’ chest, which was then swiftly dismissed by James flinging himself across Remus’ middle. </p><p>“I did tell you,” Sirius grinned down at him, as Remus grunted breathlessly from the onslaught. </p><p>Remus pulled the blanket off his head and glared down at his friends’ grinning faces. </p><p>“You are both officially the worst,” he said, frowning at them. </p><p>“Come on, Granny, we just love you,” Peter said, and James nodded eagerly, his chin resting on Remus’ stomach. “I know we don’t have Sirius’ dreamy eyes, but we’ve got a lot of heart.”</p><p>“This is going to be a nightmare,” Remus said, looking back at Sirius. Sirius laughed. </p><p>“Probably,” he said with a shrug. </p><p>“Definitely,” James chimed in. </p><p>“Absolutely,” Peter added cheerfully.</p><p>Remus groaned and flung an arm over his eyes. </p><p>“I guess it’s a good thing I love you all then,” he said, keeping his eyes hidden. “Else I’d be requesting a room transfer first thing in the morning.”</p><p>“He loves us!” James shouted in response. “Moony loves us!”</p><p>Remus felt a light poke on his arm, and peeked out to find Sirius grinning down at him. </p><p>“I’m pretty partial to you myself,” he said quietly, and Remus smiled despite himself. The entire night felt surreal. </p><p>“We really should sleep,” he said, reaching up and stroking a finger across Sirius’ stupidly pronounced cheekbones. </p><p>“Remus is right,” James said, sitting up and allowing Remus to breathe again. “It’s been a long night. We could all use some rest.”</p><p>Something flashed through Sirius’ face and he looked down, but before Remus could inquire, James had his hands on Sirius’ shoulders. </p><p>“No,” he said firmly. Sirius gave a half-hearted laugh, and James shook him lightly. “Pads, I said no. None of that. Okay?”</p><p>Sirius nodded, and James shook him again until he met his eyes. </p><p>“Okay?”</p><p>“Okay, okay,” Sirius said finally, shrugging under James’ hands. Remus watched the two of them, the familiar old spark of jealousy igniting briefly. It was impossible not to feel left out when the two of them got like this; they were like twins, with their own secret language, wholly them against the world. Remus glanced at Peter, who just smiled at him and shrugged. </p><p>But then, just as Remus started to feel squirrely, they were both smiling, and turning to include him and Peter, and everything was back to normal. That was just how it was with them. </p><p>“We’ll be okay, eh Moony?” asked James, bringing Remus kindly into the conversation. </p><p>“Yes,” Remus said, looking at Sirius. “We will.”</p><p>“All of us,” James continued, slinging an arm around Peter’s neck and drawing him closer into the circle. “As long as we stick together.”</p><p>“Forever,” the other three murmured, an echo of the pact they had made together in Second Year. It had been right on this very bed, Remus mused, that they had pledged to be a brotherhood. Just four kids, promising a forever they didn’t even know was theirs to give.</p><p>Remus smiled at Sirius, and let the butterflies that had been trapped in his stomach for the last four years finally break free. </p><p>Maybe they really would be okay.</p>
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